Riding with a 300 pound Gorilla on my chest - and sadness all around

I haven't felt much like writing in the last week, but I'm getting slowly back into the swing of things.


The clinic with Jan was awesome, as usual. Saturday we worked mainly on getting Remy rounder, more connected while keeping the forward momentum. This is not an issue on straight lines, but it becomes noticeable in the canter-half passes, especially going to the left Remy says "no thanks, I'm good" to my leg. We finished on such a good note that Judy said during dinner to me "I wish you would ride as well in your lessons with me". Oops. Guess I better up the ante.


Sunday built on Saturday's ride, but unfortunately it was a rather warm and humid day, and I could literally feel how my lungs closed up. There was not enough air going in. It was like riding with a 300 pound Gorilla on my chest, and I was pretty embarrassed that I sounded like I was about to either keel over or give birth... and neither one was on my agenda! But what's a Gorilla on your chest when you ride with an excellent (and, yes, expensive) Olympian. Nichts. I tried to ignore my 'self-made soundtrack' due to the lack of Oxygen and we had a very good lesson and neat changes.


On Monday I learned that Reni, one of our co-workers, was taken to the ICU in very serious condition. Reni had been fighting cancer for four years. I went to the hospital, and we were told it was time to say good-bye. Heart-wrenching does not even begin to describe it. Reni fought her battle with tremendous courage and grace. She came to work everyday because she wanted to give her little six-year old Ainsley a good example of not giving in/up. Reni passed away that evening surrounded by her close family and friends. We are all deeply mourning her.  I marveled at how our team rallied to support Reni during her long fight and how they came to the hospital trying to comfort her at the end. Working for this company has become more and more of a challenge - but the people in my office are incredible.


The rest of the week, well...  I will only say that it added to the dark cloud I feel like I'm under. I did my part: I voted in my first ever presidential election - which happened to be the ugliest in history. My vote didn't turn the tide -or perhaps I should say it didn't stop the flood-, so all I can do now is hitching up those big girl pants again (they need to get hitched up a lot it seems) and hope for the best.