When your husband watches your coach ride your horse - while you spend time with another coach

Back from a wonderful trip to NE. I was a bit worried as the temps had dropped into the freezing zone and I remembered that the lovely B&B Bay Mountain Farm was build in 1700. I read it was a stagecoach stop, and George Washington supposedly stayed there. But never mind old George, more importantly, how about heat?? Didn't they use horsehair for insulation at the time?? Luckily Cindy had thoughtfully provided an extra comforter and the wood burning stoves did a good job.

 My Masterson Method coaching session was both educational and inspirational, and in addition I got to spend time with wonderful people: Doris and Ron Bouchard. I mentioned Doris before as she kept me on the straight and narrow in the Equine Sports Massage program, and now she got to do the same for Masterson (Doris is a certified coach/instructor for both). Ron kindly introduced me to Craniosacral and myofascial bodywork, which he is specializing in.

I think it was a bit scary (just kidding) for her husband Ron having two German women in the house with some eerily similar ways. So, both Doris and I are married to French guys, both our dogs are named Ziggy, we both love Aldi coffee, yoghurt and salad for breakfast and lunch (respectively) and when we went to dinner we ordered the same food! Speaking of dinner and food: Doris and Ron took me to this amazing place right on the Atlantic coast, MatuNuck Oyster Bar. Wow, baby, talk about Fresh Lobster!

On the home front Remy was kept on the straight and narrow by Roz. JP watched one of their sessions and as soon as I got out of the airport reported excitedly that Remy looked "like an Olympic caliber horse" -- and then proceeded to tell me all the things I could do/should do better... Merci, Polo - and Roz, I guess. I told her as much and she laughingly replied "job security". Yep, that it is, she is the professional, I am telling my grown up self that, but hmmm...it stings a tiny bit that Remy looks so fabulous when she rides him and I have to struggle so he doesn't blow me off. Teenagers!

I am darn lucky to have such great coaches, and yes, Remy and  JP -even though sometimes it pains me to admit it- an awesome husband and equine partner (in no particular order!)

Coming home I was greeted by happy dogs and horses (Saumur, Teddy and Chambord), got snubbed by Remy ("how could you go away??") and the glorious view of our farm sign surrounded by 'flames'.

Trailblazers and Body Guards - and Continuing Education for both of us

Wild turkeys are thriving in our neighborhood, there are large groups traversing our pastures and hogging the riding trails of Kensington. As there is no hunting in Kensington (luckily!) the wildlife is quite relaxed. It seems the deer love to wait until we are close, then they flash their white tails for effect (and to startle the horses) before taking off.

The turkeys, however, are in no hurry whatsoever. There is a flock that will stand right in the middle of the road forcing cars to stop, seemingly demanding 'toll' in the form of food. On the trails Chambord is in his element as trailblazer and turkey chaser, clearing the path for all of us. Remy and I are very happy have Chambord and JP as our body guards.

Chambord and JP: Our bodyguards

This week is continuous education week: I am off to CT for Masterson Coaching and to learn cranial-sacral work for horses, and Remy is at school with Roz.

Good thing Chambord and JP are very happy and self-reliant (Chambord says: "Dressage?? Puh-leeze! -- but I could use another massage!"): And after all, somebody has to do the work at home!

"He is ready for more intelligent conversations" - and no "verflixtes siebtes Jahr" for us!

Yesterday was a "check up day": Roz got on Remy to check that we are on the right path (my translation: I am not messing him up). What you see is not always what you get, and I really appreciate having an expert rider and trainer checking on our progress not just by watching but also by feeling what is going on. Luckily, Roz didn't detect any major issues under saddle (other than the ones she sees -  Remy's tendency to blow me off). With her, his "I think this is good enough, thank you very much" didn't fly. 

Overall, things are progressing nicely. Remy is more willing and eager to learn - or as Roz puts it "he is ready for more intelligent conversations". Today part of our conversations were canter - walk - turn on the haunches - canter off different direction, as well as walk pirouettes to canter. Yep, now I just have to keep my part of the "intelligent" equation. 

This month Remy and I are celebrating our seventh anniversary. It's hard to believe, I still see the gangly three-year old stepping happily off the trailer after a five day trip from Montana to Michigan and settling in our barn like an old pro. 

I wasn't actually looking for a horse when Remy stepped into my life. Sally Radtke Anderson, at the time president of the Morgan Dressage Association, had sent me a congratulatory letter on behalf of the MDA for the USDF Bronze Medal Saumur and I achieved. Her email had a link to her website moanamorgans.com … seeing Remy and deciding to visit Montana were a quick sequence of events. Interestingly, when I saw Remy for the first time 'in person' I had some doubts (did I really want to start with a three year old?? He looks smaller than I thought?). My instructor at the time was not enthusiastic (another Morgan?? Why won't you get a Warmblood??) but JP really rooted for Remy - and I mean all out. How many husbands are trying to 'brainwash' their wives into buying a horse??

Fast forward seven years: It's been quite the ride (literally) - ups and downs, frustrations, excitement, a cracked leg (mine!) and changes of instructors. Clinics with an Olympian, a Bereiter from the Spanish Riding Schools in Vienna, a former Rodeo Cowboy, and Western Horsemanship Trainer. All this peppered throughout with plenty of encouragement, and sometimes serious butt-kicking (mine, not Remy's!) by JP.  

Finally things are falling into place - so no verflixtes siebtes Jahr (aka Seven Year Itch*)  for us. Au contraire: We have found our stride!

Happy Seventh Anniversary!

This is how it all began: A photo of 3 year old Remy in Montana

*The seven-year itch is a psychological term that suggests that happiness in a relationship declines after around year seven of a marriage. The phrase originated as a name for irritating and contagious skin complaints of a long duration -Wikipedia

An old article hits home - and we are back in the left lane

It seems equine magazines are going the way of most newspapers and magazines - short articles with not much depth but lots of colorful pictures (often of riders with bad positions) and an overload of advertisements. I still keep remembrances of the "good old times" when equine magazines actually had 'meaty' (= in depth) articles, written by professionals with profound academic knowledge, showed excellent B&W photos, and had almost no advertising. Not surprisingly "Dressage & CT*" ("Dressage, Eventing and the Sport Horse") did not survive in this fast paced world.

I have some D&CTs dating back to the 90s, and from time to time I browse through them (after having had to vigorously defend them from JP and the ever present recycling bins). One article I recently read hit home: Joni Bentley's "Riding Success Without Stress". In the article she questions "We ask of our horses that they be calm, straight, and forward - but are we?"

Obviously, 'Ouch' (=nail hitting the head) for me: Calm I was not, and I limited the forward for fear of being thrown. So I had basically asked of Remy to fill in for me, which undermined my job as the leader and he said "sorry, lady, don't think so".

Not surprisingly, our relationship and work together have improved tremendously since the major stressor were removed (mainly my previous job and the arena allergies).

In Joni Bentley's article she explains that being calm involves a harmonious balance of mind, body and feelings. To achieve this harmony, a quiet mind, a supple body, and an awareness of our emotional conditioning is needed. If we are "uptight" mentally and emotionally (guilty as charged!) it reflects in and distorts our bodies. Without calmness, we lose communication with the horse, we lose control of ourselves and our riding position "goes to pot".

She goes on to say that Quantum physicists are in agreement that mind and body are inseparably one. Therefore, successful teaching and learning depend on this unity. Training that only focuses on correcting the position is like a six cylinder car firing on only five cylinders. You'll never make the fast lane, because the root of all tension lies in the mind.

As my mind is much calmer (yes, that's my story and I stick to it) Remy and I are back on the autobahn, far left lane, flashing the head lights to get the others to move over!

*Thank you, Ivan I. Bezugloff Jr, staff  and editors for having published this fine magazine. 

You can take a nose dive on a horse trail without being on a horse - and working through tension

Jaas, Ziggy (the dogs) and I really enjoy the Kensington horse trails. So on our daily jaunt we were going at a good clip when Ziggy saw a squirrel (there are thousands around and he had to focus on that one?) and I didn't see a tree root and went flying, propelled by Ziggy's 75 pounds of sheer muscle. To his credit, he stopped quickly and ran back to check what possibly could have enticed me to take a dive in the mud?? On the bright side, German quality prevailed! My beloved Pikeurs (German riding pants - I hadn't bothered to change after riding) and I were muddy but otherwise unscathed. 

It's been one rain storm after the other lately. Yesterday we could barely see the barn from the house through the downpour. I was about to cancel my lesson (I hate driving the trailer when a boat would be more appropriate), but JP volunteered to come along and help. Thanks, JP! I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the rain would let up, but once in the indoor arena not just the rain but also the wind picked up. Nice to have the tree branches rattling on metal walls, gives a new meaning to sound track. Remy's eyes got bigger while I hand walked him around the arena and he scooted a few times. Time to put him on the longe line to see what we were dealing with. Remy settled down quickly and I was happy that Roz remarked how his gaits have improved.

I climbed on, not entirely sold on Remy being OK with the rattling and said as much to Roz. That's one of the reasons I enjoy working with her so much: She said she understood (instead of giving me the "suck it up" speech - thanks, Roz!) and made us work creatively to find our focus. 20 m circles with shoulder-ins, haunches-ins, changes through the circles did the trick. We both found our focus, and went on our merry way from there on. 

As they say, it is the journey that counts - and I am enjoying the journey more than ever! Remy got a bodywork session plus massage today as a thank you for putting up with me -- while JP still asks, what about him??