When things are not going according to plan - cutting myself some slack

It seemed easy enough: Fly to Mexico on Tuesday, come back Thursday night, ride with Jan Ebeling on Saturday. Sure - no problem, with a day in between to come off my travel meds I should be fit to ride.

Reality: Trip down to Orizaba went well. Return journey: Not so much: Two hour car trip from Orizaba to Veracruz, night in Veracruz, early next morning taxi to the airport. First snafu: Plane had been canceled. Rebooked on the next plane, alas, that one was delayed. Numerous hours later landed in Mexico City, only to find out that the plane to Detroit had left, and we opted for Chicago... only to find out the plane had be delayed. Arrived Chicago 2 a.m., shuttled to the hotel for a whopping two (!) hours of sleep and a shower. Back to the airport to find out the plane to Detroit was delayed due to snow. Hours later, leave for Detroit. Arrive - but can't leave due to lack of gate availability. Finally make it to the office and continue meetings. Roll home late and crash.

Perfect preparation to ride with a demanding Olympian. It started out well, though, Jan prepared us to get better canter departs on the iffy right hand. Lots of shoulder ins, leg yields all over the arena, transitions, transitions. He really honed in on my tendency to keep Remy too much on the inside rein. Hmm, there is an explanation: I learned a long time ago to do one-rein stops and they saved my hide more than once with Saumur. So when Remy decided to throw in a buck in at the first canter, I instinctively thought "one-rein-stop" (which I didn't need to do because Remy came right back to me).

It was a very good training session, until about 45 minutes in I faded fast and furious. I was overwhelmed by exhaustion, and thus embarrassment ("darn it, I need to suck it up and continue"). Well, that self-talk didn't help. And instead of telling Jan I needed a break I just muddled through, tears of exhaustion pooling in my eyes. How much more embarrassing could it get? Luckily, not much more. We finished on a somewhat decent note, but I had to come to grips with serious self-doubt ("I should be much fitter!").

Still, after JP kicked my behind I was able to acknowledge that yes, overall I managed to do a good job given the circumstances, it was a positive experience, and we (I!) know what we need to work on. After a shower and a nap I was able to enjoy a super nice evening with Jan and the Topline team. Cutting myself some slack is a challenge - but it sure makes life more enjoyable!