Maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel - through a different approach

Well, we lived to tell the tale of another Waterloo! Got there, noticed that they added another arena – just where Remy and I had our unfortunate parting. It used to be a warm up arena, now it’s for competition. Awesome, let’s scratch this one off my list. And that’s just what I did, went to the show office and asked if they could stick me anywhere else but there. OK, at a lower level,  but with a goal of “stay on and in” not an issue.

Remy freaked out in the warm up, he also had an “unfortunate, unexcused exit” and thus got himself and Judy eliminated. Saturday I made it around, barely, and by Sunday it took about all I had to ride this test. Scores were so-so, 60s, we can definitely do better.

It was just all pretty emotional, and I really question if this is really what I want to do. No fun, only stress. Yes, after a year I finally made it through not one but two tests at Waterloo, but it left me empty – exhausted, frustrated, and questioning why in the world am I doing this (dressage shows).

It’s a good thing that I’m leaving for Europe on Saturday, it gives me a break and time to consider the next steps. Actually, the next steps are lined up:  Glenda recommended a horseman, Brandt, that helped with her young horse. I spoke with him yesterday and was quite encouraged. Remy needs to get over his issues mainly in the warmup. Brandt trains the Mounted Police, so he offered for Remy to participate. Also, Remy might go to the Rodeo! No, not as a bucking bronc, but as the flag horse. Brandt announces rodeos and also gallops with the flag at the opening. Who knows, perhaps one day it will be me??

Sharpening one tool - and digging out another one

Well, Remy’s “tool” –aka his saddle- needed to be ‘sharpened’ yet again. It’s only been three months since the last adjustment, but I felt that the saddle was off. It seemed too low in the back and I had a hard time keeping my legs in the correct position. So, Luanne to the rescue. Luckily she was able to fit us into her busy schedule rather quickly. And I was right: Luanne measured Remy and confirmed that his shoulders grew wider, hence putting the saddle out of alignment. Not only the saddle, me, too! So – some tree tweaking and flocking adjustments and we are back in business.

The other tool I am referring to is something I have neglected, and I really do not know why. It’s the one-rein stop. It just hit me the other day that the trusted one-rein stop (honed by years of riding Saumur) would help me get my confidence back in dicey situations with Remy. To quote Buck Brannaman:

“In order for you to advance, you have to do this without a problem. This will be absolutely necessary for you to do…If you can’t walk, trot, and canter and then stop with a one-rein stop, then you ought to practice every chance you get….It ought to be something that you would bet your life on.”

You need the skill and confidence to NOT constrain a horse when it bolts or panics.

So I have been throwing some practice one-rein stops into the training mix, and I am really happy that I dug out that old and trusted tool again.

To close with another Buck quote:

“Don’t be a victim. Be busy with your horse so you stay out of trouble – otherwise, trouble will come and find you. Be assertive, but don’t be aggressive, if you are aggressive you’ll make the horse flighty. The horse needs perimeters like anyone else. Give them guidance, support, rules. The same rules. Don’t change the game, don’t let them have excuses just because of their past.. and love them.”

Plan your ride - ride your plan

OK, that’s pretty much plagiarized from the old foxhunting mantra “Plan your Hunt – Hunt your Plan”. Still, gotta have a plan – and my plan is very easy: Keep my hind end in the saddle!

Saumur has had me well trained over the years. I have been riding more or less in a modified two-point position, not willing to put my (whopping) weight into the saddle for fear of upsetting Saumur. As soon as he spooked I became even lighter in the saddle, so as not to disturb him. Not sure where that logic came from – certainly not from a dressage book or instructor.

With Remy it is really important that he feels me firm and steady in the saddle as it gives him confidence. With Judy’s help I’ve been working hard on improving my position and it’s coming together now. No (especially undeserved) flattery from Jude, so I was really happy when she commented yesterday “you have always been a pretty rider, but now you are an effective one”. Hohes Lob aus berufenem Munde! That made me really happy.

Plan my ride: Keeping my butt firmly glued to the saddle. Ride my plan: Someone better be ready to pluck me off afterwards!

 

I'm working on my head - and some interesting conversations

“Working on my head” means addressing the bouts of anxiety I am still experiencing. Flashbacks to being thrown, to be precise. I am embarrassed to admit it, after all, there are people breaking bones or worse and get on with it. From a rational standpoint I know very well that it was a freak accident, but my mind doesn’t seem to be convinced. Enter Julie, certified Hypnotherapist. She had helped me in the past and so I booked another session. If nothing else (not to diminish her talents in any way!) I always leave deeply relaxed.

After the session we chatted a bit and Julie offered to come to our place and treat Remy also. I was rather skeptical, to be honest. Hypnotherapy I can grasp and see where it helps – but talking with a horse? Nevertheless, I thought it can’t hurt, and so Remy had his session.

It was really interesting to see how he reacted, I had him loose on a leadrope in the barn and Julie was sitting in a chair in front of him. Remy didn’t move, but I could see how his ears were going back and forth showing that he was indeed engaged in some non-verbal communication. He was relaxed the entire time, deeply sighing. Julie said she could feel that he has the biggest heart ever, Remy wants to please, and that he is a real sweetheart.

So.. how did the conversation go? Well, Remy communicated that he felt really shocked and guilty about what happened and that his biggest fear is  that “he gets send away again”. Now, that is interesting. I never told Julie about his past. Remy was sold as a six month old and got shipped from California to Montana. From there he was sold as a three year old and subsequently had to travel across the country to get to us. Remy also mentioned that he doesn’t always like his work (hah!), it is sometimes too constraining and he likes to be free. Hmm… buddy, wouldn’t we all like this!

Still, I take the hints: We’ll make sure the work is appropriate, the playtime is ample – and yes, it is a lifetime commitment for both of us. So, where’s my ring? J

Rained out - but not washed out

Waterloo lived up to its name "Water" (and actually IMO the "Loo" isn't too far fetched either). First show this season and it started hot and sunny with temps in the mid 80s. Remy was pretty chill, schooled well in the new arenas. The Waterloo Hunt Club did a very nice job in re-arranging the layout in preparation for the Regional Finals.


The plan was for Judy to show Remy Friday and Saturday in order to get him (and yours truly!) into the swing of things. Then I would chime in Saturday and Sunday. Ah, the best laid plans... Remy's 'Premiere' at 2nd3 was off to a very good start: 68.049% despite some glitches on Friday. Saturday the weather changed and storms moved in, right when I was about to get him ready. There was no room to longe, and Remy -sensing my anxiety- tried to get my focus back: By a well placed pinch in my arm. Ouch! Then the heavens opened and I decided to scratch.


Judy had a later ride and -as usual- did an awesome job: 68.78% from our 'nemesis', Hilda Gurney. Hilda had placed Remy last at Regionals, way below the other judges. We didn't have high expectations even though it was a very good ride. However, the score and comments were right on: "Nice uphill horse, shows correct collection for this level; well ridden". Thank you, Hilda. And of course, Jude, you are the BEST!!


It went downhill from there - weather-wise. The temps dropped 40 degrees overnight, with constant heavy rains and high winds. "Cold and miserable" are the words that fit the situation to a 'T'. Most of the competitors, with the exception of a few very hardy souls, scratched today.


Clearly, I am not one of the hardy souls! We got to the show grounds early this morning, I scratched, we loaded gear and horse and drove home. Remy was greeted by his three buddies and all four decided on an instant party by happily running and bucking in the pastures.


My 'welcome home party' consisted of going through huge piles of dirty horse and human laundry. Somehow I just didn't feel like running and bucking through muddy pastures, wonder why??

"Hi, my name is Saumur and I'm a HSH with a HSP"

My daily perusal of the WSJ led me to a huge eye opener. No, not regarding the stock market, hedge funds, M&A's... it came in the form of an article titled "Don't take it the wrong way, you may be highly sensitive". Well, OK, I already knew that I'm a bit on the sensitive side. But when I took the test I fit neatly into the HSP "Highly Sensitive Person" category. One of the questions: "When I compete I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise">.


Other signs of HSP's are being conscientious, deeply moved by arts or music, having a rich and complex inner life (isn't that the truth!), getting overwhelmed by strong smells (JP is very familiar with that one: "Ugh, ca pue ici!"). So, yep, that all fits me pretty well. Other items on the questionnaire weren't a match, so I guess I'm borderline. Hey, who needs a shrink we you can do a Google search??


If I apply it to the boys then Saumur scores off the charts, while Remy is definitely borderline. According to the article this is not a disorder (good!) or a condition, rather "it is an innate, permanent trait" (sorry, JP, guess you have to live with Saumur and me 'as is' - it's not going to get better).


So, Saumur's new intro goes like this: "Hi, my name is Saumur, and I am a HSH with a HSP".

"Technically qualified ... Mentally not so much" - and how about a room mate?

Remy got to travel with a “femme d’un certain age” (Buffy is a fairly opinionated middle-age equine lady) to meet Maryal. Buffy showed Remy right away what she thought of his advances: Nothing! So no equine love story here. 

The temperature had dropped over 30 degrees from one day to the next, so I was expecting a very ‘fresh’ Remy. He was a good boy, though. Maryal was especially happy with our shoulder-in/10m circle/travers tour. She said she rarely sees good (correct) travers when she judges. Well, that was the good news – the not so good news was our medium canter “you are too tight in your hips, he can’t go, because you are not following”. So we practiced medium to collected to medium – and low and behold, it got to the point where I could feel the push from behind and the front end elevating: Nice!


But then… my mind … as soon as there are distractions I lose focus and we fall apart. It was bad enough for me to have the ‘peanut gallery’ watching – albeit a small and kind one. Still… and then we heard horses being turned out and loudly calling, which Remy found very interesting and I worried. It’s a vicious cycle which I seem to be unable to break. So at the end Maryal pronounced us “technically qualified” – but gave me a pep talk about my mental readiness (or –more accurately- the lack thereof).


Frozen but overall happy we came home – to find that the bedroom was gone! We are in the process of remodeling the house, adding an addition that will give us a master suite plus sauna (yay!) and walk-in closet (double-yay!). Based on past experiences we were not prepared for workers being THAT efficient, though. I thought I’d have more time clearing out. Wrong!  I can only hope they keep the pace, because in the meantime we are ‘huddling’ in the smallest bedroom, with ALL my clothes stuffed in rolling wardrobes.

Wonder if Remy would like to have a roommate in his posh quarters at Judy’s? After all, he has the master bath (wash stall) right next to him. How about moving there… JP?? J