That's exactly what I said to Glenda, when she called me to see how things are going. I've been trying to wean myself off the boot after work, and things are going well, even though there is some lingering pain.
My head (more precisely - my mind), alas, is a different issue (not surprisingly, as some close to me would chuckle). I am going through a whole gamut of emotions, doubts, "what-ifs". Aside from having developed an anxiety about getting back on I am also struggling with self-doubts and embarrassment. I mean, really, I just shouldn't have come off in front of a large crowd!
Realistically, though, I've lived a charmed riding life until now. In all the years of riding I never had a serious accident (until now, and in the big scheme of things, this is a minor nuisance compared to what could have happened). Even top professionals come off, it's part of the game, so there is really nothing to be embarrassed about. Sure, just tell that to my subconscious mind!
As obviously I am not capable to do this - enter Julie: A certified hypnotherapist who also practices energy healing. Believe me, I'm not easily sucked in the "Hokus-pokus", but having had a couple of successful sessions with Julie about a year ago, I knew she could help. During the two hour session yesterday I felt like a weight was lifting, and energy flowing through my body. The proof of course is in the pudding. Another week or so and then we'll see what happens when I'm climbing back on.
In the meantime, Remy is progressing well with Judy, and they are having fun. In order to get Remy out as much as possible we've decided on a show in Cincinnati at the beginning of August. I'll have to be the groom again: The USEF does not joke about the medical suspension, as soon as I did the online entry for Remy I got a red flag indicating that I can't enter as the rider.
My next checkup is on August 12 and it should provide the necessary 'all clear' paperwork regarding my physical condition. By then hopefully my head will be "fixed" -- Don't get your hopes up, JP, the "head fixing" only pertains to my riding :-)!
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Emil puts an end to my pity party - and Step 3 is a no brainer
Right after finishing my previous blog it was time for my weekly standing appointment that's not to be missed: Call with the parents!
Emil (my dad) is often good for surprises, and today was no different. After inquiring about my leg, and knowing his daughter, my state of mind ("how's it going with your patience??") he proceeded to gleefully tell me about his latest adventure:
Emil has spend his entire life hunting, and he sure won't let three hip replacements and some crushed discs (among other things) slow him down; and by the way - age is just a number! So last night he went out into his forest. While climbing the ladder up to the tree stand a rung fairly high up broke, sending Emil crashing hard to the ground. Luckily nothing seemed broken, but he had a large gash in his leg. Two choices: Go home and face my mother (who is generally not amused by his antics) or get on with it. Easy decision: Emil rolled the pant leg up, sock down in the hopes the blood would dry (oh, yes, he also is on blood thinners), went back up the tree stand and shot a wild boar. Quote "She was way heavier than you: 60 kg!" - Gotta love the man!
After that Emil called home, said "get the first aid kit ready", loaded the 60 kg boar in the trailer... and braced himself to face my mother. :-)
And here I was, wallowing in doubts and complaining about my boot, when really step 3 is that easy: Just get on with it!!
The following quote hits the nail on the head:
Emil (my dad) is often good for surprises, and today was no different. After inquiring about my leg, and knowing his daughter, my state of mind ("how's it going with your patience??") he proceeded to gleefully tell me about his latest adventure:
Emil has spend his entire life hunting, and he sure won't let three hip replacements and some crushed discs (among other things) slow him down; and by the way - age is just a number! So last night he went out into his forest. While climbing the ladder up to the tree stand a rung fairly high up broke, sending Emil crashing hard to the ground. Luckily nothing seemed broken, but he had a large gash in his leg. Two choices: Go home and face my mother (who is generally not amused by his antics) or get on with it. Easy decision: Emil rolled the pant leg up, sock down in the hopes the blood would dry (oh, yes, he also is on blood thinners), went back up the tree stand and shot a wild boar. Quote "She was way heavier than you: 60 kg!" - Gotta love the man!
After that Emil called home, said "get the first aid kit ready", loaded the 60 kg boar in the trailer... and braced himself to face my mother. :-)
And here I was, wallowing in doubts and complaining about my boot, when really step 3 is that easy: Just get on with it!!
The following quote hits the nail on the head:
"Falling down is part of life - getting back up is living"
A roller-coaster state of mind - let's get the ball and chain off!
Ah, Remy... what can I say? Good thing I'm blond so grey hair doesn't show (hopefully!) that quick.
Waterloo this weekend was quite the ride -- for me mentally. Physically I'm feeling like a convict with an iron ball chained to my leg. That's how the boot/cast feels, especially after several days of maneuvering hilly show grounds. Judy and Remy were entered for 1st3 on Friday and Saturday. On Friday Remy warmed up nicely, but the schedule got messed up and we had to hurry from the warmup to the rings only to be told to wait. Judy got the go ahead to trot around the ring, only to be pulled out because the ring steward had forgotten about the rider before her. When it was finally Judy's and Remy's turn, the kid was exhausted. He still did respectably well, especially considering the circumstances, but I know it took a lot for Judy to carry him through.
Yesterday Remy was mellow all along so we didn't expect him to become the wild man on the longe line. I told Judy I would be absolutely fine if she decided to scratch, but she soldiered on: Crowded warmup on the left - water trucks and tractors on the right - storm brewing overhead. Honestly, I was really scared for her. This is where the true professional comes in: Judy didn't give Remy a chance to 'wander', she had him focused the entire time, and rode a beautiful test that scored 68.3%. Pretty darn awesome, Jude!! (As a side note, someone in the know told us that the test scored 70% and then the judge decided it was "too high" and knocked some scores down. So much for impartial judging!!)
For me the weekend was a bit of an emotional roller-coaster ride because being relegated to spectator is so NOT my thing. I felt useless, and yes, rather left out. I'm also pondering what to do when I finally get the all clear from the doctor: Do I have the guts to risk it again? Rather shockingly to me is also that I'm having twinges of doubts - why for once can't I have an easy horse?!? Yes, that's very immature, I know... but heck, after all the years of struggle with Saumur I'm tired. OK, I'm also tired lugging around in the boot, that might have a lot to do with my current state of mind.
So, how to move on? I'll start with my own 3 Step Program:
1: Off with the ball and chain - aka The Boot!
2: Plenty of German Chocolate (good for the nerves!)
3: Figuring out the next steps :-)
Waterloo this weekend was quite the ride -- for me mentally. Physically I'm feeling like a convict with an iron ball chained to my leg. That's how the boot/cast feels, especially after several days of maneuvering hilly show grounds. Judy and Remy were entered for 1st3 on Friday and Saturday. On Friday Remy warmed up nicely, but the schedule got messed up and we had to hurry from the warmup to the rings only to be told to wait. Judy got the go ahead to trot around the ring, only to be pulled out because the ring steward had forgotten about the rider before her. When it was finally Judy's and Remy's turn, the kid was exhausted. He still did respectably well, especially considering the circumstances, but I know it took a lot for Judy to carry him through.
Yesterday Remy was mellow all along so we didn't expect him to become the wild man on the longe line. I told Judy I would be absolutely fine if she decided to scratch, but she soldiered on: Crowded warmup on the left - water trucks and tractors on the right - storm brewing overhead. Honestly, I was really scared for her. This is where the true professional comes in: Judy didn't give Remy a chance to 'wander', she had him focused the entire time, and rode a beautiful test that scored 68.3%. Pretty darn awesome, Jude!! (As a side note, someone in the know told us that the test scored 70% and then the judge decided it was "too high" and knocked some scores down. So much for impartial judging!!)
For me the weekend was a bit of an emotional roller-coaster ride because being relegated to spectator is so NOT my thing. I felt useless, and yes, rather left out. I'm also pondering what to do when I finally get the all clear from the doctor: Do I have the guts to risk it again? Rather shockingly to me is also that I'm having twinges of doubts - why for once can't I have an easy horse?!? Yes, that's very immature, I know... but heck, after all the years of struggle with Saumur I'm tired. OK, I'm also tired lugging around in the boot, that might have a lot to do with my current state of mind.
So, how to move on? I'll start with my own 3 Step Program:
1: Off with the ball and chain - aka The Boot!
2: Plenty of German Chocolate (good for the nerves!)
3: Figuring out the next steps :-)
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
There is a silver lining - and I do have some gripes
My new nickname has become "Hoppalong" (thanks, Jude, as always you are right on :-)) because that pretty much describes how I move. So today I hopped through the barn, annoying JP with all my unsolicited advise on how to groom and tack up Remy for Judy.
It's great to be able to observe how Judy trains Remy. I'm a visual person and it helps me a lot to have the correct picture in my minds eye (i.e. "He's in front of her leg, but I don't see any visible aids, this is how it should look like!"). Judy has Remy working on 2nd level exercises, like walk-canter, shoulder-in, haunches-in. The 'skipping' into the canter has stopped, and yay - Remy did some baby-half-passes today. Looking good, guys and girls! :-) This is the silver lining around the cloud of having a fractured leg: My horse is receiving the best training there is, and eventually I'll benefit from it.
Just the other day I was a bit morose and said to Judy that I should have just done what some of her other clients did - buying a FEI schoolmaster and enjoying the ride without worries about all the young horse stuff. Judy's levelheaded response "You don't need a schoolmaster, I'll help you train Remy and there you go!". That made my day!
Getting the gripes off my chest:
(1) To the helmet manufacturer. You tout your accident replacement program, but when I filed the claim your rep told me that I'm a few days over the three year period, hence, no dice. Come on, really? Yes, you produce wonderful helmets, and I am VERY grateful that my head is fine. But with a bit of good will you could have gotten great publicity and kept a repeat customer.
(2) To the strangers inquiring about my leg/air cast: Dear Stranger, I appreciate your concern, less so the curiosity, but OK, I'll tell you it was a riding accident. Be aware, though, the next person that says "Oh, like Christopher Reeve" will get hit over the head with my crutches!
Ah, now I do feel better! :-)
It's great to be able to observe how Judy trains Remy. I'm a visual person and it helps me a lot to have the correct picture in my minds eye (i.e. "He's in front of her leg, but I don't see any visible aids, this is how it should look like!"). Judy has Remy working on 2nd level exercises, like walk-canter, shoulder-in, haunches-in. The 'skipping' into the canter has stopped, and yay - Remy did some baby-half-passes today. Looking good, guys and girls! :-) This is the silver lining around the cloud of having a fractured leg: My horse is receiving the best training there is, and eventually I'll benefit from it.
Just the other day I was a bit morose and said to Judy that I should have just done what some of her other clients did - buying a FEI schoolmaster and enjoying the ride without worries about all the young horse stuff. Judy's levelheaded response "You don't need a schoolmaster, I'll help you train Remy and there you go!". That made my day!
Getting the gripes off my chest:
(1) To the helmet manufacturer. You tout your accident replacement program, but when I filed the claim your rep told me that I'm a few days over the three year period, hence, no dice. Come on, really? Yes, you produce wonderful helmets, and I am VERY grateful that my head is fine. But with a bit of good will you could have gotten great publicity and kept a repeat customer.
(2) To the strangers inquiring about my leg/air cast: Dear Stranger, I appreciate your concern, less so the curiosity, but OK, I'll tell you it was a riding accident. Be aware, though, the next person that says "Oh, like Christopher Reeve" will get hit over the head with my crutches!
Ah, now I do feel better! :-)
Saturday, June 28, 2014
It is official - and a judge with a sense of humor
Well, it is official: I am an American Citizen!
JP and I got to the Federal Courthouse in plenty of time, but when we turned into the parking lot across the street the attendant told us "If you are here for the Oath Ceremony - it's canceled!" My (normally very low) blood pressure immediately shot to the Stratosphere, and I sure didn't want to give up NOW. So, after a heated argument about parking fees (the guy insisted on $10 for a couple of minutes) JP sprinted across the street in to the court house. And guess what: It wasn't canceled!
After the Federal Marshall shepherded us through the metal detectors we had to stand in line in front of the courtroom, waiting for a clerk to verify the paperwork. All very polite and organized. Once 'the show got on the road' it was a dignified ceremony, perhaps a bit on the frugal side, but short and sweet. After swearing the Oath a clerk called the names of each individual and their native countries. We were about 50 people, from 19 different countries. The judge proceeded to hand out the "Certificates of Naturalization" to each person.
When my turn came he walked up to me with a big smile, shook my hand and said: "Congratulations on becoming an American Citizen - and by the way, the Germans won!" (The soccer game Germany - USA had finished just before the ceremony, and the score was 1:0).
A lovingly decorated office door greeted me at work - it was wonderful how everyone took so much interest in it and I am proudly wearing the T-shirt that was draped over my chair: "USA 2014"!
JP and I got to the Federal Courthouse in plenty of time, but when we turned into the parking lot across the street the attendant told us "If you are here for the Oath Ceremony - it's canceled!" My (normally very low) blood pressure immediately shot to the Stratosphere, and I sure didn't want to give up NOW. So, after a heated argument about parking fees (the guy insisted on $10 for a couple of minutes) JP sprinted across the street in to the court house. And guess what: It wasn't canceled!
After the Federal Marshall shepherded us through the metal detectors we had to stand in line in front of the courtroom, waiting for a clerk to verify the paperwork. All very polite and organized. Once 'the show got on the road' it was a dignified ceremony, perhaps a bit on the frugal side, but short and sweet. After swearing the Oath a clerk called the names of each individual and their native countries. We were about 50 people, from 19 different countries. The judge proceeded to hand out the "Certificates of Naturalization" to each person.
When my turn came he walked up to me with a big smile, shook my hand and said: "Congratulations on becoming an American Citizen - and by the way, the Germans won!" (The soccer game Germany - USA had finished just before the ceremony, and the score was 1:0).
A lovingly decorated office door greeted me at work - it was wonderful how everyone took so much interest in it and I am proudly wearing the T-shirt that was draped over my chair: "USA 2014"!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Back to school - and "it was my AMERICAN horse"
Back to school for Remy this week, JP took him back to ‘Aunt
Jude’s’ on Monday. He’ll have private tuition Monday through Friday, and then
he comes home for the weekend. During the school week he has a set of friends
to play with at Topline, and then on the weekends he can hang out with his best
buds at home. It’s an excellent program, the only glitch in it is that it
leaves me out.
Five more weeks… but again, I am so very fortunate in having
Judy working with Remy while I’m “out of commission”. The plan is that I audit
her training sessions as much as possible; and then when I have the medical all
clear I’m thinking of starting with Saumur and even Chambord to get my ‘riding
legs’ functioning again. Chambord might be a bit tricky, he is clearly a
One-Man-Horse; he adores JP. The two of them have their program, anything else
and Chambord is not afraid to flip the hoof.
Today was the big day, Interview and Test for Citizenship in
downtown Detroit. I heaved myself through security, cane and all, with JP being
my driver and “designated purse carrier” (I owe him for that one). All went well, the officer in charge of
my case was very nice – and he turned out to be a fellow horse lover. When asked
about my leg I pointed out that my *American* horse caused it – and despite
that I still wanted to become a citizen! What other proof of commitment is
needed?! J
After the ceremony I will officially be an American. It’s a bit of an irony that right that very day the German and US soccer teams will square off to get to the next round in the World Cup. Whatever the outcome of the game: My team will win J!
Sunday, June 22, 2014
I love "small town America" - swapping horse stories at the local diner
Like almost every Sunday we went for breakfast at 'Dimitri's', the local diner. As soon as I hobbled in on my crutches the waitress exclaimed "What happened to you, honey??" I had barely mentioned "riding accident" when she pointed out another woman having breakfast, this one with a broken collarbone, also from a riding accident. Ah, misery does love -some- company!
Our village is known for being very equestrian friendly, there are lots a horse properties and thousands of acres of parks with riding trails. Brand new is a traffic light (the first in Michigan) that can be activated from horseback. Pretty cool - and very thoughtful!
While waiting for breakfast -the best Spinach omelet there is!- our waitress told us that she and her family also have horses, and she knew exactly where my accident happened. It was fun swapping horse stories with her, and it really made me feel part of a larger community.
Aside from talking horses it was also very touching to see several elderly (if not to say ancient) couples getting together for breakfast, dressed in their Sunday best, and seeing them tended to with much care. Probably not something you'd experience in a fast paced large city.
Just yesterday afternoon we discussed living in America with Susanne and Joachim, our German friends and neighbors; and all four of us agreed that we couldn't imagine moving back to Europe. Aside from the quality of life we enjoy here, the logistics of moving would require something akin to The Ark - combined the four of us have 6 horses, 1 pony, 2 dogs, 13 cats, and let's not forget Rocky the Raccoon!
Our village is known for being very equestrian friendly, there are lots a horse properties and thousands of acres of parks with riding trails. Brand new is a traffic light (the first in Michigan) that can be activated from horseback. Pretty cool - and very thoughtful!
While waiting for breakfast -the best Spinach omelet there is!- our waitress told us that she and her family also have horses, and she knew exactly where my accident happened. It was fun swapping horse stories with her, and it really made me feel part of a larger community.
Aside from talking horses it was also very touching to see several elderly (if not to say ancient) couples getting together for breakfast, dressed in their Sunday best, and seeing them tended to with much care. Probably not something you'd experience in a fast paced large city.
Just yesterday afternoon we discussed living in America with Susanne and Joachim, our German friends and neighbors; and all four of us agreed that we couldn't imagine moving back to Europe. Aside from the quality of life we enjoy here, the logistics of moving would require something akin to The Ark - combined the four of us have 6 horses, 1 pony, 2 dogs, 13 cats, and let's not forget Rocky the Raccoon!
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